Death is inevitable. We are only here on Earth for what seems like mere moments. Our job is to make the most out of those moments and leave behind a rich legacy of good works. Some people accomplish this, but many don't. Where I am from, if you are lucky to get out of the city, you are doing better than most.
I read on Facebook this morning that someone from my hometown was killed. The name Monte was all I knew. Reading the statuses and comments, my heart sped up a bit because I was hoping that it wasn't the Monte that I was thinking of. Growing up in the projects in Columbus, MS, I had the luxury and pleasure of growing up around some of the most down to earth dudes around. Cats in the hood get a bad reputation because many are involved in illegal dealings or what not. But in my eyes, they were friends. Monte, Anthony Hodges, Big Chris, Dominico, Head Poppa, Robert, Marquee, Jermaine, Thad. These were dudes that always looked out for me and my female friends in the neighborhood. They were never disrespectful and never let anyone else disrespect us either. I remember some of my best memories growing up involved my front porch and everyone from the neighborhood and the streets nearby just hanging out, laughing, enjoying life, and making the best out of our circumstances.
I checked the local news website about 20 times before they finally printed the name of the 32 year old victim that was gunned down in front of his home early this morning. It was Edmund Mosley...Monte...one of the coolest cats I knew growing up. My old friend. My heart hurt. My hometown has a history of violence but only a few deaths hurt me to my core. The death of Monique Ledbetter at her own party was one. She was shot by a stray bullet from a drive by just weeks after giving birth to her baby. The death of Monte is another. These are two people whose faces I can still see walking down the halls of Columbus High School. Faces I still see in the grocery store, at Skate Zone, riding past my grandmother's house on 20th street or just walking to the corner store. These were people I knew personally. Shared life with at one point. Monte was a good dude with a big heart. Had some run ins with the law but I couldn't think of a better dude to watch out for me when my brothers weren't around.
I hate that he is gone. Most of my FB friends from back home are really feeling the sting of his death, considering this is the second murder in two weeks. My heart hurts for Columbus, MS. Kinda glad I am going home this weekend to get my boys just so I can take a look at the city that holds so many memories for me. I was one of the lucky ones. I got out and never looked back. So many people I know are trapped there. Trapped in unemployment, lack of education, crime, violence, racism, hopelessness. My family is still there. My heart breaks for my brother who is still there and my cousins who are buying into the hood antics and mentality. There is a world outside of Northside.
RIP Monte. My dude. Thanks for holding Northside down.
Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Monday, July 11, 2011
Right Where I Am Meant To Be
I am a firm advocate of leaving the past right where it is. In the past. Some people come into your life for a reason, a season or a life time. Many of us spend too much time trying to parlay this person who was only meant for a season into a life time.
That was me a few years ago with an ex. We were an unhealthy, codependent couple who settled and wasted many years. I learned a lot of valuable lessons about myself and life and general, so I can honestly say I don't have too many regrets about that period in my life. I walked away from the situation with my head first and my bruised and broken heart followed behind shortly thereafter.
For me, it was very easy for me to get over someone by just acting like they didn't exist. I ease memories, avoid certain places, throw away all mementos and keep it pushing. But with this last relationship, God had different plans for my healing process. He made me wallow in the hurt and pain for a while. In my head, getting over that relationship was going to kill me but God was showing me how to trust Him to be my comfort and strength. I had to be serious about this God thing if I wanted to be normal again. It wasn't easy but I did not fold and try to worm my way back into a relationship that God literally stopped time and plucked me out of.
Just the other day, God downloaded a thought into my heart. He reminded me of all that He has accomplished through me once I stepped out on faith in that supernatural encounter with Him and left the relationship for good. Here is a quick recap:
-July 2009: God stopped time and space and spoke directly to me, saving my life.
-August 2009: I visited Victory World Church for the first time.
-August 2009: I started attending Fusion and joined a small group.
-September 9, 2009: I gave my life to Christ, fully and wholeheartedly.
-November 2009: I was baptized in front of my Fusion community. This was also the month that the issue of human trafficking hit home for me in the wake of 5 year old Shaniya Davis's death. She was sold by her mother to a man for sex and her body was found on the side of the road a few days later. She resembled my 3 year old neice and both lived just miles apart.
-January 2010: I stepped into Fusion leadership.
-March-May 2010: I experienced 12 amazing weeks of Spirit filled revival at Fusion during the spring of 2010 that changed how I viewed the Holy Spirit.
-June 2010: I went on my first Sunday to Sunday in town mission trip, an experience that rocked my world and broke my heart for my city. During that week, I met a young lady that fueled my passion for the victims in the sex trade.
-July 2010: I begain blogging as a way to get back into writing and to journal my journey with God. I wrote blogs for the Sunday to Sunday website.
-October 2010: I participated in an amazing overnight outreach with Fusion, feeding and ministering to the homeless and cleaning up SafeHouse Atlanta, a staple of hope for the homeless of Atlanta.
-November 2010: I launched a donation drive to provide much needed items to WellSpring Living, a non profit restoration home for former sex trafficking victims. I delivered a van load of supplies and journals to the ladies 2 weeks before Christmas.
-February 2011: I became a small group apprentice, training to lead others and create disciples within my Fusion community. Later that month I participated in Lobby Day with StreetGrace, a partnership of local churches and community partners to lobby for legislation to protect victims of child sex trafficking and punish traffickers and johns.
-April 2011: Friends and I visited a local strip club and ministered to the beautiful, yet broken girls. I left with more hugs, tears, and prayer requests from the girls that I would have ever imagined. Also, attended the Resilent Women's conference and was introduced to the dyanmic Christine Caine, a powerhouse evangelist and advocate for suvivors in human trafficking.
-June 2011: I embarked on a 10 day mission trip to Peru to work with former street kids, trafficking survivors, and children from some of the poorest, most violent slums in the country. On Wednesday, I get to attend a panel discussion featuring Rachel Lloyd, one of my favorite advocates for victims of child sex trafficking.
This is seriously just a snapshot of the things that I have done in the past 2 years. There are too many outreaches, Fusion services, spontanteous prayers for strangers, bible studies, friendships created, leaders trained, disciples made, late night Furnace prayer sessions, supernatural encounters, missionaries supported, lives changed, to even count. Our lives are a ripple effect, touching one person, who then touches another and another. I have met so many strangers and shared the gospel with it is beyond measure. I have encouraged so many friends, strangers, and coworkers with words or just random acts of kindness, its overwhelming.
I am right where I am meant to be.
Going down memory lane is okay but I have no regrets from getting off that beaten path. None of this would have been possible had I chosen to stay in that one relationship. Being consumed with one person would have prevented me from affecting the lives of thousands with the gospel. You never know how far your reach is supposed to go when your focus is on everything but God. Thankful that He stopped time to chase me and that I had sense enough to let Him catch me.
That was me a few years ago with an ex. We were an unhealthy, codependent couple who settled and wasted many years. I learned a lot of valuable lessons about myself and life and general, so I can honestly say I don't have too many regrets about that period in my life. I walked away from the situation with my head first and my bruised and broken heart followed behind shortly thereafter.
For me, it was very easy for me to get over someone by just acting like they didn't exist. I ease memories, avoid certain places, throw away all mementos and keep it pushing. But with this last relationship, God had different plans for my healing process. He made me wallow in the hurt and pain for a while. In my head, getting over that relationship was going to kill me but God was showing me how to trust Him to be my comfort and strength. I had to be serious about this God thing if I wanted to be normal again. It wasn't easy but I did not fold and try to worm my way back into a relationship that God literally stopped time and plucked me out of.
Just the other day, God downloaded a thought into my heart. He reminded me of all that He has accomplished through me once I stepped out on faith in that supernatural encounter with Him and left the relationship for good. Here is a quick recap:
-July 2009: God stopped time and space and spoke directly to me, saving my life.
-August 2009: I visited Victory World Church for the first time.
-August 2009: I started attending Fusion and joined a small group.
-September 9, 2009: I gave my life to Christ, fully and wholeheartedly.
-November 2009: I was baptized in front of my Fusion community. This was also the month that the issue of human trafficking hit home for me in the wake of 5 year old Shaniya Davis's death. She was sold by her mother to a man for sex and her body was found on the side of the road a few days later. She resembled my 3 year old neice and both lived just miles apart.
-January 2010: I stepped into Fusion leadership.
-March-May 2010: I experienced 12 amazing weeks of Spirit filled revival at Fusion during the spring of 2010 that changed how I viewed the Holy Spirit.
-June 2010: I went on my first Sunday to Sunday in town mission trip, an experience that rocked my world and broke my heart for my city. During that week, I met a young lady that fueled my passion for the victims in the sex trade.
-July 2010: I begain blogging as a way to get back into writing and to journal my journey with God. I wrote blogs for the Sunday to Sunday website.
-October 2010: I participated in an amazing overnight outreach with Fusion, feeding and ministering to the homeless and cleaning up SafeHouse Atlanta, a staple of hope for the homeless of Atlanta.
-November 2010: I launched a donation drive to provide much needed items to WellSpring Living, a non profit restoration home for former sex trafficking victims. I delivered a van load of supplies and journals to the ladies 2 weeks before Christmas.
-February 2011: I became a small group apprentice, training to lead others and create disciples within my Fusion community. Later that month I participated in Lobby Day with StreetGrace, a partnership of local churches and community partners to lobby for legislation to protect victims of child sex trafficking and punish traffickers and johns.
-April 2011: Friends and I visited a local strip club and ministered to the beautiful, yet broken girls. I left with more hugs, tears, and prayer requests from the girls that I would have ever imagined. Also, attended the Resilent Women's conference and was introduced to the dyanmic Christine Caine, a powerhouse evangelist and advocate for suvivors in human trafficking.
-June 2011: I embarked on a 10 day mission trip to Peru to work with former street kids, trafficking survivors, and children from some of the poorest, most violent slums in the country. On Wednesday, I get to attend a panel discussion featuring Rachel Lloyd, one of my favorite advocates for victims of child sex trafficking.
This is seriously just a snapshot of the things that I have done in the past 2 years. There are too many outreaches, Fusion services, spontanteous prayers for strangers, bible studies, friendships created, leaders trained, disciples made, late night Furnace prayer sessions, supernatural encounters, missionaries supported, lives changed, to even count. Our lives are a ripple effect, touching one person, who then touches another and another. I have met so many strangers and shared the gospel with it is beyond measure. I have encouraged so many friends, strangers, and coworkers with words or just random acts of kindness, its overwhelming.
I am right where I am meant to be.
Going down memory lane is okay but I have no regrets from getting off that beaten path. None of this would have been possible had I chosen to stay in that one relationship. Being consumed with one person would have prevented me from affecting the lives of thousands with the gospel. You never know how far your reach is supposed to go when your focus is on everything but God. Thankful that He stopped time to chase me and that I had sense enough to let Him catch me.
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