It is no secret that I desire to be married. In all honesty, I do believe God has placed me in a season of preparation to be a wife, but I am feeling a bit weird about it. Last year, God woke me up in the middle of the night with this one question, "What is a wife?" It's been almost a year since that question popped into my head. I think I have been shying away from answering that question because of the weight of seriousness I place on the role of a wife. Women get married every day but not every woman is prepared to be a wife. Once the glitz and the euphoria of the wedding day end, reality of the new role of wife set in. I never really think I am prepared for a new season that God places me in but He always knows what's best and is not afraid to challenge me. It might be time to start working on my "wife" assignment.
Some of the best wife preparation advice I have heard was from a married woman at church that I admire. She sympathized with some of us single gals in our desire to be paired with the one God has for us because not long ago, she was in our same situation. However, when she looked at the role of wife and the importance of marriage from God's perspective and compared it to her life at that time, she knew she wasn't prepared. When I look at my life today, I know I am not prepared to be a help mate.
But God is changing my heart. And in the most interesting and funny ways. I haven't been in a relationship in over a year and a half which is my longest bout of singleness ever. Totally my choice because I knew I needed to get guys out of my system for a season or two. It wasn't until recently that I actually started to notice guys again. I mean notice them in a sense that I would actually like to get to know them better when before I wouldn't even entertain the idea. I have become more and more transparent with my desire to be married and starting to really sit back and observe the inner workings of marriages from couples I admire. From Kat and Reggie, Dede and Avery and Quiana and Dexter, God has surrounded me with some fabulous examples of marriages that He is truly proud of. I have had the pleasure of seeing the rewards of couples that courted and honored God in the relationships before marriage and the benefits of it. I have even caught myself watching the cheesy wedding shows on WE and TLC. I have never envisioned having some over the top, budget busting show case for one day so those shows have never really appealed to me. But I am warming up to the idea that though the focus should be on the marriage, the celebration of the wedding day can be a big deal too and should be enjoyed by family and friends.
God definitely has a plan for our futures and He does hear the prayers that we whisper to Him. I have desired to be married and have made it known to Him so now is not the time to stick my head in the sand because of fear. I tend to get jaded at the idea of marriage because of so many unhappy and broken marriages that I have seen over the years. My parents were never married so growing up I never had an example of what a functional relationship let alone a marriage was supposed to look like. I sometimes feel like I am at a disadvantage because of that. But My Father is an amazing example of love, devotion, commitment, security, leadership, purpose and everything that a husband should possess. He is my blueprint and the husband that He has for me knows that as well. He desires for me to have His best and His best has already been chosen. We are both in our preparation seasons, allowing God to continue preparing our hearts and minds to meet each other. This will be an interesting season for sure.
No comments:
Post a Comment