How Many...

A question has been in the back of my mind for days now. A question that is making me take a hard look at my life as well as my spiritual life. "How many people am I sending to Hell because I didn't share my faith with them?" How many? If I think about all the people I encounter in a day, seven days a week, it adds up to be a lot. People that I pass in the street, at work, at my kid's school, in the grocery store, at the bank, in a restaurant, everywhere. Opportunities to share the Gospel that I pass up on a daily basis. Yeah, I know people have to atone for their own sin but if I am not sharing with them the power of forgiveness, grace, and redemption that Jesus provides, I might as well be pushing them into the Lake of Fire myself.

I am realizing I am not that good of a disciple as I thought I was.

I have found myself stuck in a rut of lukewarmness and complacency. Sure, I talk about Jesus and all the amazing things happening in my life but I tell those things to my circle of friends. I put it on Facebook for the random masses to see, but I don't share it with people that I KNOW are far from Christ. I know most days I am not always diligently seeking Him, yet the moment I am in need, I call on Him. I have developed a rather unfair relationship with my Savior. He is always there, unchanging, just waiting anxiously to pour out His blessings over me, but I treat Him like an after thought, a get out of jail free card. I have become comfortable in my regular ways that don't always glorify God or bring people to the Kingdom of Heaven.

But why? How did I get to this place?

Just like the breakdown of any relationship, it isn't one event that happened that put me in the place I am in. It's a series of events or incidents that got me here. Unfortunately, since God never changes His ways, the blame is on me. I stopped making Him my first thoughts. I stopped being diligent and intentional about seeking Him. I slacked up in my prayer time. I stopped expecting Him to do amazing things in my life because I began to get consumed with trivial things around me. I started to let my faith wane because I began to focus more on my own wants and desires than God's will for me. I stopped having that crazy hunger for His presence and His living word. I became regular, average, lukewarm, conformed.

God's timing in perfect...like for real. I have been aware of my present state of mind for a while now, but never really knew what to do about it. But God decided to show me what to do. Fusion kicked back off last week with a new series called unNormal. Basically stepping out of our comfort zone and being radical for Christ. This past Sunday Pastor D talked about making our desire to share our faith with others an urgent matter. This past Wednesday at our monthly leadership meeting after Fusion, Pastor Johnson gave all of us leaders a book to read to help strengthen us. The is called Radical: Taking Back Your Faith From The American Dream by David Platt. I haven't even opened the book yet, but I know it going to challenge my thinking and push me out of my comfort zone.

I need that. For real. I want to be radical. I want to be unNormal.

"How many people am I sending to Hell because I didn't share my faith with them?" Think about it.