Thursday, July 28, 2011

My Wedding Disater

So last night I had a rather detailed dream about me preparing for my wedding. You would think that because its my wedding day, I would be dreaming about all the excitement, the love, etc. Yeah, not me. My dreams about weddings tend to be nothing short of a disaster. Since this was a dream that I could clearly remember and feel, I am going to assume this was a God dream. So here goes.

When the dream started, I was getting myself dressed and I was alone. I was about to just put on my wedding dress like I was putting on any old sun dress when I realized I should probably put on some of those fancy wedding gown lingerie type things. There was no sense of care and delicacy with me getting dressed. So I'm standing in front of a full length mirror (I have significantly lost weight!) attempting to put on this corset type bustier but for some reason, it just was not working out right. I didn't have any help and I was in this dark, drab, creepy looking room. Everything around me was very dark and the only light I had was the little bit of light that was shining on me as I stared at my reflection in the mirror. It almost looked like I was getting dressed in a dungeon or something.

So I get my dress on and this dress just was not pretty. It was a two piece dress and was very ill fitting and wrinkled and plain. There is no happiness, no excitement. Just a sense of "let's get this over with." So I start searching for my white shoes to wear with my dress but I cannot find them anywhere. I go into what I guess was my closet to find the shoe box with the white heels. It was pitch dark and I only had a flashlight to light my way. I get on my hands and knees in my white wedding dress and crawl on the floor looking for the shoes. I see different shoe boxes exactly like the ones in my closet now, but the white shoes for my dress were no where to be found. I become absolutely frantic and hysterical over shoes. I ended up just putting on a pair of flat silver sandals that looked like this:

Surprised I even found the shoes I was wearing. Crazy. And you see why I was not happy because I don't even like those shoes. I remember trying to hide my feet under the dress so no one could tell I was wearing those shoes.

The next scene is me walking out of the house with my dress on. I am walking on the side of the white house in the grass and a woman walks passed me. She stops and frowns up at my hair (which I did not do when I was getting dressed). She attempts to arrange my hair and puts in a hair piece. I don't see what type of hair piece it was but I could feel the clasp and tugging as she arranged it. I get into the car with my friend Diana who is going to take me to the church. The wedding is supposed to start at 5PM and I believe it was about 4PM then.

Diana has to make a stop before heading to the church and I am hesitant about it because we are already running late. We park at what I now realize is Lillian Webb Park in Norcross not to far from my home. There is parking surrounding the park with a church and a community center across the street. Diana goes to one of the buildings across the street and I take a walk along the sidewalk around the park. I start to get this feeling of absolute dread because I am about to marry someone I do not love. I never know who my intended groom is but I just know who ever it is is not someone I want to be with for the rest of my life. I start saying out loud that I do not want to get married and I do not love this man. I start to wonder how I got myself into this predicament and how I was going to go through with a wedding I don't even want. I start to feel completely overwhelmed with dread and regret. I am looking down at my wedding dress which is dirty from me crawling around on the floor and walking in the grass. I start to twist at my skit (2 piece dress) because it was such a bad fitting dress and get even more frustrated. I get to the cross walk and cross the street. I pass by a window and see my reflection and it is horrible. The hair piece is just this huge ball shaped mass of curls sitting on top of my head and my dress is dirty. I am not happy.

I look away from the window and glance across the street towards the park and I see my a guy friend of mine. He is wearing jeans and a blue polo shirt and is heading towards the same building (the community center) that I am. The next scene is my friend and I standing in the lobby. He is sitting in a chair and I am standing across from him along a wall. I look down and I see wood floors. I find out the time is now well past 6PM (either 6:24 or 6:42 PM) so I am officially late for my wedding. I get frantic wondering where Diana has disappeared to since she was my ride. My friend, in his typical joking manner asks "Why are you so upset? Got somewhere to be?" I shoot him an "Are you kidding?" look as if he can't see that I am in a wedding dress. He apologizes nervously then for some strange reason starts to fling semi-melted Sour Patch Kids candy at my dress. Since the candy is melted it sticks to my top and smears leaving red and green globs everywhere.

I get upset and scold him and realize I am just about to have a nervous breakdown because everything bad that could happen on your wedding day is happening, cold feet and all. I then start to realize I don't have any make up on nor do I have any jewelry on. I start to get frantic again because I realize I don't have something old, something borrow, or something blue. When I think about something new, I get a vision of a silver or platinum necklace with a diamond heart shaped pendant. I feel my mood brighten for that brief moment and I see myself standing in this bright white light with a beautiful, spotless white wedding dress on. The vision of the necklace and me in the beautiful white dress only lasts for a second and I am back in the lobby with my friend in my dirty dress.

I get so overcome with sadness, fear, and regret that I just start crying. My guy friend rushes over and hugs me because he is the only person around. He comforts me and reassures me that everything will be okay. I hear him saying "Shh. Don't cry. It's all going to be okay." I continue crying uncontrollably and he never lets me go. I never see Diana again in the dream and it just ends with my friend and I hugging.

The alarm wakes me up out of my sleep and its over.


  1. a couple things stand out to me:
    1. committing yourself to something that you really don't want to to/over-commitment
    2. feeling unprepared/ill-equipped for what you are committed to.
    3. God wants to do something new and in that you'll have everything you absolutely need.

    just my two cents.

  2. Pretty good observations. Think there is probably some truth to those points especially the third one.