Monday, August 15, 2011

Beautiful Surrender

I must say that I am truly blessed with some amazing friends and an AMAZING God who divinely orchestrates my life. My mind is still reeling a bit from the way God has moved over the last few days. He never ceases to amazing me and no matter how many times He shows Himself faithful and loving, it has me in awe like its our first encounter.

Last week, I came face to face with my financial situation (working to pay off debt...slow process) and I was feeling a bit discouraged. Being a single mom makes you very aware of the amount of pennies you having coming in and out and how sometimes there is a huge gap in between. I worry about money (I know God does not give me a spirit of fear, but I am working on that) quite often and several facets of my life and future hinge on money. School is on hold right now because I am questioning whether or not counseling is the most viable career option since the pay stinks even though its something I love to do. Missions is something I want to do more of but again, money is always my biggest concern. I could go on and on.

However, God kinda checked me a few weeks ago and reminded me that money should not be the root of my decision making. He is the ultimate provider and no matter how much or how little money I make, my family will always be taken care of. He has the tendency to do some amazing supernatural stuff so I don't know why I sometimes doubt Him. So here I was last week, staring at my future on a piece of paper and I decide enough was enough. No more worry, no more stress, just a complete surrender to God to let Him take over and guide me.

A couple of days later, I got a semi hysterical call from a close friend who had just had the greatest epiphany from God that changed her life completely. She finally realized that her high powered six figure salary meant nothing if she was missing out on her family and actually doing God's will. She planned to quit her job soon and pursue what makes her happy. She was experiencing the total freedom that comes when you obey God. Just a few minutes later, I got a call from another friend that is barely making ends meet and its stressing her to no end. Because I was in a place of complete surrender to God about my own money woes, I allowed the Holy Spirit to speak through me calmly and confidently about God's view on money, His desire to provide and the first steps she needs to take to get back on track. Yeah, I was shocked at myself. After I took some time to process both phone calls, I realized God was giving me a view of life from two different prospectives. He showed me the freedom and joy my life can have when I surrender my worries to Him just like my first friend did. He also showed me the bondage that I would remain in if I decided to continue to try to figure life out on my own and not allow Him to help like my other friend is.

I would much rather have my freedom and joy in a beautiful and humble surrender to Him.

In that one morning, I was finally at a place where I was not worried about money. Worrying wont solve my problem so why waste the energy. I am sure God was standing over me saying "Finally! I thought you would never catch on." Amazing things happen when you surrender your worries to God. He starts to move in your life in crazy ways. Usually the problems we have stem from us being in the way of what God wants to do in our lives. A friend had to remind me that I am standing in the way of God doing some amazing things because I am still trying to figure out how I am going to make things work out. But like the Bible says, God makes all things work together for the good of those who believe in Him. Once, I decided to fully surrender, it wasn't even a full week that went by when I was presented with the most radical blessing. It's kinda still blowing my mind but I know it is absolutely God ordained. I won't go into details but God has used my friends to show me that when you surrender your burdens to Him, He will definitely make things work together for the good of those who believe in Him.

A beautiful and worthy surrender indeed.

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