Monday, August 16, 2010


It's a hard reality when it hits you that you really can't save the world. For many people, saving the world isn't even on their radar. Most people are living for themselves and their own happiness. But for me, being a Christian who wants to be a doer of the Word and not just a hearer, wanting to save the world is usually at the forefront of my mind. Maybe not saving the world as a whole, but bringing change to the people around me. Yet, over the past couple of weeks, I've found it hard to "be Jesus" when my faith isn't as strong as it should be. Yes, even Christians struggle with faith and all that comes with it.

I have been plagued with one distraction after another lately. Usually it has someone thing to do with money lately, or the lack there of. I've noticed that the more I serve and try to live out God's will for me, something throws me off balance financially and my focus shifts. As a single mom, making sure we stay above water is a constant thought in the back of my mind. God has ALWAYS been a provider so we have never gone without. He has proven to me time and time again that as long as I have faith in Him, He's got the rest. But it's the distraction that gets the best of me. I've been giving so many opportunities to do God's will in different areas but the distractions of life shift my focus, gets me off my purpose driven path. If I am worrying about paying bills or dealing with a sick kid, it's hard to come up with an s2s blog or even a personal blog. It's hard to counsel friends when I have my own stuff going on. I start to feel like the older son in the prodigal son story. I want someone to notice me and my dealings with life. Selfish of me, I know, but it happens.

But that's the enemy's plan. Spiritual attacks. John 10:10 says the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy. He attacks us in our area of weakness to keep us from God's purpose for us. Any little distraction from God is all he wants and needs to shake our faith. His distractions makes us wonder if we are even equipped to handle this life, this calling to follow God. It makes us wonder if we are equip to be that light of Jesus that hurting people need, even when we are hurting.

Right now, I have sickness, death, depressions, financial trouble, broken families and relationships all around me and everyone needs faith that things will get better. I visited a 10 week old baby in the ICU on Saturday who is dying. I met his 16 year old mother at the s2s block party at the Covenant House in June. He was brought to the hospital on Monday and by Tuesday, the circulation in his legs had stopped and his feet and legs started dying. He has blood clots in his brain as well as brain damage. I prayed for his healing because I know God can do anything, but I left feeling a little helpless. Will God really heal him or is it His will from this baby to die? Will the marriages of my friends be healed and restored because I pray for them? Will any of my prayers make a difference? Will people really be touched by the words that I say or write? While I am praying for a revival in this city, in this country, in marriages and families, in my church, who prays for me?

Jesus never promised that we would be without troubles in life. Anyone that follows Him are surely going to endure trials and tribulations all in the name of Christ. But it's our faith that sustains us. It our ability to recognize the tricks of the enemy and tackle him head on. It's the Word of God that gives us direction and wisdom on how to deal with life when troubles come. It's the Holy Spirit that gives us peace in the midst of the story that carries us through. Even when I start doubting my ability to help and God's ability to just be miraculous, I have to stop and discern my state of mind. If I am not focused on God and spending time with Him in prayer, I come out of alignment with Him, leaving the door open to the enemy's deception and distractions. The re-bound back into alignment isn't always instant but just knowing that He is my focus is enough to strengthen my resolve. He has already given me the power to heal the sick and to speak life over people. Sometimes I just have to be reminded of the gifts and power He has entrusted me with. When the distractions finally fall by the way side, I'm able to get a clearer vision of God's intent for me. I'm able to be that shining light for others in the midst of their darkness.

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