Some days I have to remind myself that I don't have a huge S on my chest, nor do I don a cape when I leave the house. I do not possess super human strength or can leap tall building in a single bound. I cannot solve every crisis in 22 minutes on a TV show and there are not always happy endings. I'm just one person, standing with my faith in My Father and the promise that He makes all things work together for our good.
I am no one's Savior. That was one of the biggest lessons I had to learn this year. I cannot save everyone. Some people will fall through the cracks and suffer. Some people will experience disappointment, overwhelming heartache, suffering, setbacks, loses, disasters, turmoil, consequences of their own bad choices or the bad choices of others. And I cannot save them. I will have to sit back and let the pain endure and pray for the best.
You would think that knowing that My Father didn't create me to carry the weight of the world on my shoulder would take some of the pressure off but, it doesn't. It makes me feel helpless. It makes me wonder why I can't do more to ease the suffering. It makes me wonder why my prayers for Sabrina seemed to have fallen on deaf ears. Why my prayers for restoration of broken marriages, healing for dying babies, better opportunities for those that are down on their luck, all seem to have gone unanswered. Makes me wonder if just my simple prayers and hope for the future are enough.
1 Corinthians 9:22 says "To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some." Jesus became everything to all men so that he might save them. Not me. I wasn't designed to have a heart this big to carry the pains of the world, but to carry the love and promise of our Savior so that they can see Him through me and marvel at His power. I am a living testimony alone. My story of being redeemed from the depths of despair should be enough to remind anyone that is going through a tough time to know that there is a promise waiting. There is a freedom in knowing and following Christ. He can save you. No matter how bad the situation or circumstance seems, not matter how bad the pain is, He can save you. He can heal you. He can make you whole again.
I am not Superwoman, but I do have a heart the size of an ocean filled to the brim with the love of Christ ready to pour out on those in need. I try to be a friend to those who need one, but I cannot be any one's everything and I am OK with that. People will still die, get hurt, hurt others, have broken hearts, etc and there is not much I can do to save them from themselves. But what I can do is pray for them and allow those prayers to dance on the ears of my Father knowing that He will handle them in His own time. I can continue to be the hands and feet of Jesus here on Earth and showing people what His heart and kindness looks like.
Showing posts with label helpless. Show all posts
Showing posts with label helpless. Show all posts
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
Distractions
It's a hard reality when it hits you that you really can't save the world. For many people, saving the world isn't even on their radar. Most people are living for themselves and their own happiness. But for me, being a Christian who wants to be a doer of the Word and not just a hearer, wanting to save the world is usually at the forefront of my mind. Maybe not saving the world as a whole, but bringing change to the people around me. Yet, over the past couple of weeks, I've found it hard to "be Jesus" when my faith isn't as strong as it should be. Yes, even Christians struggle with faith and all that comes with it.
I have been plagued with one distraction after another lately. Usually it has someone thing to do with money lately, or the lack there of. I've noticed that the more I serve and try to live out God's will for me, something throws me off balance financially and my focus shifts. As a single mom, making sure we stay above water is a constant thought in the back of my mind. God has ALWAYS been a provider so we have never gone without. He has proven to me time and time again that as long as I have faith in Him, He's got the rest. But it's the distraction that gets the best of me. I've been giving so many opportunities to do God's will in different areas but the distractions of life shift my focus, gets me off my purpose driven path. If I am worrying about paying bills or dealing with a sick kid, it's hard to come up with an s2s blog or even a personal blog. It's hard to counsel friends when I have my own stuff going on. I start to feel like the older son in the prodigal son story. I want someone to notice me and my dealings with life. Selfish of me, I know, but it happens.
But that's the enemy's plan. Spiritual attacks. John 10:10 says the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy. He attacks us in our area of weakness to keep us from God's purpose for us. Any little distraction from God is all he wants and needs to shake our faith. His distractions makes us wonder if we are even equipped to handle this life, this calling to follow God. It makes us wonder if we are equip to be that light of Jesus that hurting people need, even when we are hurting.
Right now, I have sickness, death, depressions, financial trouble, broken families and relationships all around me and everyone needs faith that things will get better. I visited a 10 week old baby in the ICU on Saturday who is dying. I met his 16 year old mother at the s2s block party at the Covenant House in June. He was brought to the hospital on Monday and by Tuesday, the circulation in his legs had stopped and his feet and legs started dying. He has blood clots in his brain as well as brain damage. I prayed for his healing because I know God can do anything, but I left feeling a little helpless. Will God really heal him or is it His will from this baby to die? Will the marriages of my friends be healed and restored because I pray for them? Will any of my prayers make a difference? Will people really be touched by the words that I say or write? While I am praying for a revival in this city, in this country, in marriages and families, in my church, who prays for me?
Jesus never promised that we would be without troubles in life. Anyone that follows Him are surely going to endure trials and tribulations all in the name of Christ. But it's our faith that sustains us. It our ability to recognize the tricks of the enemy and tackle him head on. It's the Word of God that gives us direction and wisdom on how to deal with life when troubles come. It's the Holy Spirit that gives us peace in the midst of the story that carries us through. Even when I start doubting my ability to help and God's ability to just be miraculous, I have to stop and discern my state of mind. If I am not focused on God and spending time with Him in prayer, I come out of alignment with Him, leaving the door open to the enemy's deception and distractions. The re-bound back into alignment isn't always instant but just knowing that He is my focus is enough to strengthen my resolve. He has already given me the power to heal the sick and to speak life over people. Sometimes I just have to be reminded of the gifts and power He has entrusted me with. When the distractions finally fall by the way side, I'm able to get a clearer vision of God's intent for me. I'm able to be that shining light for others in the midst of their darkness.
I have been plagued with one distraction after another lately. Usually it has someone thing to do with money lately, or the lack there of. I've noticed that the more I serve and try to live out God's will for me, something throws me off balance financially and my focus shifts. As a single mom, making sure we stay above water is a constant thought in the back of my mind. God has ALWAYS been a provider so we have never gone without. He has proven to me time and time again that as long as I have faith in Him, He's got the rest. But it's the distraction that gets the best of me. I've been giving so many opportunities to do God's will in different areas but the distractions of life shift my focus, gets me off my purpose driven path. If I am worrying about paying bills or dealing with a sick kid, it's hard to come up with an s2s blog or even a personal blog. It's hard to counsel friends when I have my own stuff going on. I start to feel like the older son in the prodigal son story. I want someone to notice me and my dealings with life. Selfish of me, I know, but it happens.
But that's the enemy's plan. Spiritual attacks. John 10:10 says the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy. He attacks us in our area of weakness to keep us from God's purpose for us. Any little distraction from God is all he wants and needs to shake our faith. His distractions makes us wonder if we are even equipped to handle this life, this calling to follow God. It makes us wonder if we are equip to be that light of Jesus that hurting people need, even when we are hurting.
Right now, I have sickness, death, depressions, financial trouble, broken families and relationships all around me and everyone needs faith that things will get better. I visited a 10 week old baby in the ICU on Saturday who is dying. I met his 16 year old mother at the s2s block party at the Covenant House in June. He was brought to the hospital on Monday and by Tuesday, the circulation in his legs had stopped and his feet and legs started dying. He has blood clots in his brain as well as brain damage. I prayed for his healing because I know God can do anything, but I left feeling a little helpless. Will God really heal him or is it His will from this baby to die? Will the marriages of my friends be healed and restored because I pray for them? Will any of my prayers make a difference? Will people really be touched by the words that I say or write? While I am praying for a revival in this city, in this country, in marriages and families, in my church, who prays for me?
Jesus never promised that we would be without troubles in life. Anyone that follows Him are surely going to endure trials and tribulations all in the name of Christ. But it's our faith that sustains us. It our ability to recognize the tricks of the enemy and tackle him head on. It's the Word of God that gives us direction and wisdom on how to deal with life when troubles come. It's the Holy Spirit that gives us peace in the midst of the story that carries us through. Even when I start doubting my ability to help and God's ability to just be miraculous, I have to stop and discern my state of mind. If I am not focused on God and spending time with Him in prayer, I come out of alignment with Him, leaving the door open to the enemy's deception and distractions. The re-bound back into alignment isn't always instant but just knowing that He is my focus is enough to strengthen my resolve. He has already given me the power to heal the sick and to speak life over people. Sometimes I just have to be reminded of the gifts and power He has entrusted me with. When the distractions finally fall by the way side, I'm able to get a clearer vision of God's intent for me. I'm able to be that shining light for others in the midst of their darkness.
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