Monday, August 23, 2010

He IS Faithful...

Last night was awesome. We had our regular Beauty For Ashes small group, but this meeting just did something to my heart. We met at the cross at Victory and spent some time in prayer and meditation as Angie called each one of us to the walking path. When she called my name, I really didn't know what to expect, but I knew this was going to be an evening of reflection and discovery. Angie explained that we have to learn to be faithful to God everyday because He is always faithful to us. As we walked, she quote the scripture Matthew 25:29-30: "For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him."

It's funny because I had read that very scripture the night before. I took that as confirmation that I need to be faithful to God in the little things that He gives me, so that I can live in abundance. Funny cause, that was the message Jeff Hidden gave this morning. Kingdom Thinking. I'm listening.

When I got to the end of the path, Nesha was waiting with an index card with the scripture Psalm 86:15: "But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness." Again, the message was faithfulness. She gave me a letter to read with instructions and also the letter that I wrote to Jesus 7 months ago at the start of our small group. As I read my letter, I was amazed at where was I was then and where I am now. I asked for healing for forgiveness for denying Him and doubting Him. I asked to encounter Him and to know His love for me. I asked Him to challenge me, to encourage me, to break me out of my shell, to give me boldness, baptism in the Holy Spirit. I asked Him to pour out His love and grace on my family and to strength the Godly relationships with the women He had placed in my life. When I tell you He was absolutely faithful in everything I desired, I was in awe. God did everything I asked of Him. He is faithful beyond understanding. He is in covenant with me and will give what my heart desires according to His will for me. He is faithful even when I am not.

In my letter, I promised to always have a burning passion for Him. To always be devoted to praising and worshiping Him. To continually die to myself and follow Him. I don't feel like I held up my end of the bargain. There are days when I am not sure He will come through for me. There are days when I pray and I can't hear Him, so I get discouraged and wonder if He cares. Sure I have my days, when I am just immersed in Him love and grace. Yet, there are days when I feel so disconnected from Him that I don't know how to fix it. I've felt that way lately. Very disconnected, faith kinda waning, fear and worry consuming me. But He was faithful to me, even when I was not to Him. That's how much He absolutely adores me. I am the daughter of a King and He treats me as such each and everyday. I just have to be faithful and return that same devotion.

I desire to be faithful and trusting in God in every area of my life. Every area. From finances, friendships, relationships, decisions, career, time. Every area. When I am faithful and good with the little things that God entrusts in me, He will pour out an abundance of blessing to me. I should be faithful because He is faithful. Now, I know I wont be perfect and there will be times of doubt and trouble. Yet, I have to always remember that my Father has proven to be a provider, a healer, a protector, a loving Father and many other things, so I know that I will always stand tall and stand in His victory.

I know that being faithful does not happen over night. I know this will be a process, a transformation. I know I need to renew my mind, body and spirit and become aligned with Him. Learn to trust Him and have dark areas of my heart revealed and fixed so that I can carry on. I bought a 90 day devotional back in late January, early February when I took the courtship class. I read it for a few days, and it was good, but I didn't stick with it. My letter that proved God is always faithful was written 7 months ago, around the time I purchased this book. Figured God had every intention of me getting that book, seriously. So, I have decided to embark on a 90 day assignment of purifying my mind, body and spirit. Each day, I will read my devotional and seriously think about what it is that is being revealed to me. My thoughts and revelations will be documented here so that I can go back and look at Day 1 three months from now and look at what God had done. I am excited and hopeful and ready for Him to reveal His purpose and love for me.

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