Tuesday, September 6, 2011

The Death of Miss Independent

Real Talk: Miss Independent is going to be the death of single Christian women.

Some years ago, Destiny's Child had a hit song singing praises to independent women around the world. Even Ne-yo had a song about him attraction to women "who held their own." The anthems says women who don't need a man for anything should be praised. Women should be their own bosses, play by their own rules, and bow to no man. Women sang those songs for months, buying into the idea that women need to take care of themselves and not depend on a man to do for them what they can do for themselves. I was singing right along with them because I too thought that being an independent woman was attractive and smart.

Boy was I wrong.

After having countless talks with male friends on the epidemic outbreak of independent women around the world, they hipped me onto some serious knowledge about the male way of thinking. To men, if she can take care of everything on her own, what does she need a man for? Guess women didn't think about how men would react when their very position in their lives was no long available. If women are taking care of every role that a man is meant to fulfill, we aren't leaving much room for them to be useful in our lives aside from the occasional bed warmer.

Ephesians 5:22-24 says "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." Submit. Most women hate that word. Kinda hard to submit when you have been in control of every aspect of your life. Yet, in God's divine plan, He hard wired men to already understand that women are meant to submit to their husband...and husband need to be in a position to garner her respect by loving her as Christ loved the Church and presenting her without wrinkle or blemish. That would be the rest of Ephesians 5...more to come on that.

I sincerely believe that the lack of strong, secure, godly men has helped with the increased battle cry of independent women. Men who disrespect and mistreat women leave them in a position to have to guard their hardened hearts and play by their own rules to avoid heart break. Men who leave their children to be raised by single mothers leave them in a position to be the provider and security for the home. Not placing all the blame on men, but for those who did not heed the instructions of Ephesians to love her like the church leave her to fend for herself.

It's time to kill Miss Independent. I've never felt that any woman should be praised for taking care of herself and being responsible. Working and paying your own bills should be common sense, not something to be praised. Seriously. Women need to kill the Miss Independent mentality and embrace the Proverbs 31 mentality. "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." A woman who honors the Lord and His commands is worthy to be praised. A woman who knows the value in submitting to her husband (not being a doormat, but respecting him as the leader of her household) brings honor to herself and her family. Time out for looking towards the world to determine what is acceptable and worthy. God already wrote the book on that.

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