Seasons Change

It's been over a week since I have posted and this past week has been non stop crazy. Been mapping out some ideas and suggestions for Fusion service teams as I transition from service teams to small group apprentice next year. That was totally God ordained and timely because the desire had been there and I was surprised that Avery, Taina, and Liz McVicker were all in agreement that it is time for me to step into that new role. I've also decided to step out on faith and take on this project of collecting donations for the women at Wellsprings Living. God put the idea on my heart earlier this year and it wasn't until seeing the Candy Shop documentary at the Fox that I decided to act on it. So far so good and luckily I am friends with enough small group leaders to help spread the word. Planning and organizing has been time consuming but so worth it if my vision comes to past. Thank you for community.

I realize I am transitioning into yet another season and the year is not over. God has me on this fast tracked agenda and I am not quite sure why. He has taught me valuable lessons in trusting Him, being bold for Him, dying to my prideful ways, knowing that even when I don't live up to His expectations, He still loves and delights in me. I have learned that my ways are not His ways and His ways reach far beyond my own comprehension. I have learned to separate my natural thinking from His supernatural actions. I have learned that prayer and faith can change lives and even in times of heartache and disappointment, He is still worthy to be praised. I have learned to lean on Him and only Him, that He will never forsake me, that He is always moving and always challenging me. I have learned that I need to be vulnerable and transparent with Him. He has been with me every minute of my existence so there isn't anything He doesn't know but He needed me to know that I can come to Him with the most intimate and fragile secrets, fears and desires.

There has been so much personal growth and spiritual growth in this past year that I often wonder "Why me? What did I do to deserve to be on such an incredible journey?" I usually get a "Why not you?" shortly thereafter. He is constantly reminding me that I am so worthy of all the desires of my heart because of my faithfulness to Him and my heart for others. Leash S. told me that God honors our pure hearts and faithfulness and I am seeing the fruits of my labor. Even when I don't even think I am worthy to call His name, He tells me that I am still His beloved, that my name is written in His hand and that He absolutely delights in me.

So as I have transitioned from learning to trust, to learning to be transparent, I feel like I am now learning how to get prepared. I'm not quite sure what I am getting prepared for, but that desire to get myself together is getting stronger and stronger. He is placing me with people that are outside of my normal circle and allowing them to speak into my life. He has placed me among Quiana and Dexter Culbreath who I am learning so much from. Our friendships sparked from me being obedient and blessing them with a small gift when Eden was born. Barely knew Quiana but felt this overwhelming need to get to know her and oddly enough she felt it too. God works like that. He places you where you need to be and with whom you need to be "for such a time as this." Waiting patiently for more revelations and confirmation but enjoying where I am.

He is good.

Day 5: A New Season

Forget about what's happened; don't keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand-new. It's bursting out! Don't you see it?
There it is! I'm making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands. Isaiah 43:18-19

Man, God is so right on time. For a while, I have been feeling kind of disconnected and restless. I've been needed something new, a new challenge, a change of scenery, something new because I feel like I'm almost in a rut. Stagnant. Unfulfilled. I am definitely not a fan of idle time and thoughts so this is killing me.

My problem is that I seem to be searching an outlet for this pent up energy when I should be asking God what it is that He would have me do. I tend to try to make myself busy with other things to keep from having so much idle time. Almost like a way to keep me distracted, yet, I am still feeling unfulfilled. I can write a million blogs, post a million articles, and do a million outreaches in the name of Jesus, but if I am not getting His green light first, it can all be unfulfilling. I realize I am not walking out God's purpose for me.

The scripture Isaiah 43:18-19 just resounds in me today because I want to see what new and amazing thing God is going to birth in me. I have let go of my past, died to myself in order to follow Christ, so now I have to prepare to do what it is that God has specifically designed for me to do. I also need to be more focused and diligent about the duties He has placed before me right now. I have the writing for the Sunday to Sunday blog, helping to develop the intake forms for any newly rescued girls from the street, developing ideas to expand the scope of the welcome team at Fusion. It's funny that I already have plenty to do but, get so distracted that I lose focus on those areas. I think this weekend is going to be a weekend of organization and focus. Getting ideas flushed out and asking God to just show me what it is that He would have me do. If I am obedient in the little things that He gives me, He will bless me with abundance...wow. Thanks for that awesome revelation just then!