Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Bigger Than Me

I love being apart of something that is bigger than me. Something that allows me to just play a small role in the grand scheme of things. Something to leave my mark on so I can look back and know I made a difference, even in what I think is insignificant way. I love being apart of God's master plan, apart of a ministry that is devoted to changing the direction of a generation. I love living life with people who are passionate about change.

Today God showed me that what I do, the people I meet, the people that I lead, the ministry that I serve, the random acts of kindness, the listening ear, that one extra phone call, that one "Hey, I'm just checking on you" text message, that silent prayer, it's all so much bigger than I can imagine. I've never had a day like this before that left me having to seriously lean on God and pray before I too action.

It started with an urgent cry for help at 7:00 AM on Facebook and it didn't end until well after midnight. I was operating on what seemed like strategic tactial mode the whole day. From a chance encounter with a dear old friend, to the series of cryptic updates on someone who fell off the grid, to the silent prayers and worry of someone I Shepard, to a friend going through the hardest time in her life, I was realizing that this life, this calling, this purpose is so much bigger than me. My mere existence in this natural world is all for a grander plan in the supernatural. God is so precise with our lives and the people He puts in them. We have to always be aware of the power that He gives us because you never know when you are going to have to utilize your gifts to get through a 24 hour time span.

This one day was filled with so many up and down emotions, so many tears, so many prayers, but so little focus on myself. This day was not about me at all. It was about me realizing that I have no room to be selfish because I have no idea how far my ripple effect stretches. I have been equipped with the wisdom, discernment and sheer passion for God's people to be such a vital instrument in His master plan. I just didn't know it until today. I haven't been called to just sit back and let someone else lead the way. I have been given the authority to be the one leading the way.

For a brief moment in time, I seriously questioned whether or not I was really capable of leading my generation in the Fusion Ministry. Most days I felt like I hadn't quite got my footing though people often applauded my work. That little bit of fear and uncertainty was causing me to almost consider taking the easy way out and letting someone more experienced take the wheel. But God knew better than to let me give up. How does He show me how equipped I really am? By throwing me in a world wind of events that let me relying on Him completely. In my weakness, He was strong. Where He is strong, I am strong.

This bigger plan is not about my level of knowledge or experience. It's about my level of dependency on Him to get the job done. Gideon is one of my favorites in the Bible. Weak in his own faith in himself, God used Him to do amazing things...all because He got his source of strength from God. Fusion is about to undergo so crazy, God centered, mind blowing changes and it excites me every time I think about it. He is about to open the flood gates in the city and send people in our direction in ways we can barely imagine. And He needs me there to be apart of it. He needs me there because in that crowd, there is someone I am supposed to meet. There is some one's life I am supposed to impact with a message from God.

It maybe just one life, it maybe 1,000. Who knows? Who cares? This thing is bigger than me anyway. I'm just along for the ride.

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