Soapbox Rant...

Recently I have been dealing with the issue of condoning, condemning and complying with sin. I would like to believe that anything can be measure along side the Bible to determine whether it is pleasing to God and there is little grey area. You either condone sin by participating in it and not standing up against it or you condemn it by fleeing from it.

Simple enough in my book.

When it comes to church leaders and their ideas of condoning and condemning sin, things get a little tricky. Pastors don't want to offend people so often times they skirt around issues like sex and homosexuality. In my book, if you aren't adhering to what the Bible says about these sins and directing your flock to flee from it, you are condoning it. Some pastors of course go overboard and condemn people for their actions and not condemn the sin itself.

There is a difference.

I was reading through a relationship blog that I read for entertainment purposes only. It's written by a man who I will assume is not saved because his posts revolve around random "worldly" relationships issues like sex and dating. Its posts are amusing at best but nothing that I would live out because it conflicts what I know the Bible says. Yet this most recent posting totally blew my mind. The author of the blog is looking for a wife for his best friend who is about to move to the South for a new job. They have known each other for years, hang out, drink, chase girls, have sex, you know...regular guy stuff.

The problem: The friend is moving to take a job a head pastor of a church. Yep. Here is an except from the Q and A session the author posted about his friend and his reasoning for leading a church while still being "in the world."

Boy, stop, tell me what does he do for a living?

He’s a pastor.

A what?

A pastor, as in a preacher, as in a man of the cloth. He’s going to be the head of a church.

Wait…

Yeah, I know, so next question cause I know you have one.

Does this mean he doesn’t…

Oh no, he does that.

You didn’t even let me finish though…

I know what you were going to ask. Look, he’s an ordained pastor. He went to school and studied to be a pastor like I went to school to study to be a journalist. Being a pastor of a church is what he does for a living, but off the pulpit, outside of the church, he’s one of the guys. He drinks with us, he parties with us, he listens to the same music we listen to, and dates like a sinner, which means, yes, he does have sex. That’s what you really want to know because that’s what everyone asks me whenever I talk about him and bring up his occupation.

But wait, if he’s a pastor how does he…

Stop right there. This is the one thing I hate. Whenever I try to tell someone about my friend people put him on a pedestal solely based off what he does for a living. First of all, he’s spent many years as a counselor to alcohol and drug abusers. He’s also been a hospice worker. This guy lives in the real world, not in the church world.

I’m simply saying I don’t know any pastors like that…

My friend, the one we’re talking about here, once told me, “The problem with a lot of churches is they try to get people into heaven instead of heaven into people.” That’s some food for thought. According to him, there are plenty who are able to balance a life on and off the pulpit without keeping things hidden from public view. But not only that, you’re right, you don’t know any pastors like him and you don’t know any guys like him. He can explain everything better than I can, so for those who are interested, and want to know more about how he does that balancing act, you’ll have to talk to him.

I think my mouth is still on the floor with this one. The author is of course condoning the fact that his pastor friend "lives in the real world, not the church world." I am more astounded at the fact that the friend sees this lifestyle as perfectly okay. It burns me up to no end that there are so many people in the world proclaiming a calling from God to lead a church, yet their own lifestyle does not set them apart from others that are not even Christians.

A couple of weeks ago, God kept nudging me to read the book of Timothy. Weird I know because I am certainly not that girl who gets these divine scripture references from God. I finally took the time to read it and it blessed me abundantly. 1 Timothy is all about being a leader in the church. I took in some very good food for thought since I am in a leadership position at my own church. It also allowed me to see the measuring stick that Bible has for those that want to lead a church.

1 Timothy 3
Qualifications for Overseers and Deacons
1 Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. 2 Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full[a] respect. 5 (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) 6 He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. 7 He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil’s trap.

This pastor friend looking for a wife doesn't seem to be living up to those standards of being above reproach. I will certainly pray for the people he is about to lead and hope that they don't fall under any deception to condone living just as their shepard does.

**Getting off my soapbox**

Lead and Inspire

I have to confess that I have not be very wise with my time management lately. I have a million and three things on my plate lately and I feel like I have been pretty slack in doing everything with excellence. It's not that I am overwhelmed but simply because I have been letting other things, people and various distractions keep my focus off of what I know I should be doing. I could super spiritualize it and say its an attack from the enemy to keep me off of the path that God intends for me to be on. Or I can just be honest and say I have been lazy.

I vote with lazy.

I'm glad I am having this reality check now as opposed to later because there are so many great things going on that I know are totally a God thing and I seriously would hate to screw that up. With my Crown class, I am learning valuable information about getting out of debt and honoring God in the area of my finances. I can confidently store that under my "wife preparation" file because money is one of the top causes of issues in marriages. Getting that under control from the jump is priority number one for me and God. Not just marriage but life in general really. I have started to procrastinate with the homework and tracking my spending but that can't keep going.

I have my Beth Moore Breaking Free bible study on Saturday morning which I absolutely love but for the past two weeks, I just have not made the time to finish all my homework. Not that I couldn't find time, I just didn't make time. Beth Moore is AMAZING and I learn so much from her studies and I have been dying to do Breaking Free since I heard about it. When I dive into the lessons, God seriously does a work in me which I love. Gotta get back on track.

Small group is going really well and its about that time for me to seriously start preparing to branch out to my own group. Had a good meeting with my small group coach on Tuesday and I told her what vision I had casted for my group. Honestly, I had not put what I think is enough time and thought into but luckily enough, God has a bigger plan for me and still sees fit to give me what I need. He randomly gave me name of the group (The Real Me) as I was googling scriptures about my identity in Christ. Ginger loved the idea and luckily it works for either a woman's group or a co-ed group (though I am hoping to lead a women's group). I now need to find an apprentice to groom and assist me and I am praying that one of the two people I have in mind are interested. Time to get on the ball.

So what does my procrastion have to do with leading and inspiring? Simple. Only I can do what God has called me to do.

He has called me to lead others to the Kingdom of God and I can't do that if I am not a person worth following. If I want to talk to people about the importance of being good stewards over their money, I need to be a good steward over my own money. If I want to talk to people about overcoming strong holds and areas of darkness in their life, I think Beth Moore has some pretty good insight on that so I need to get all I can out of this study so I can share with others and help myself along the way. If I am not intentional about being in the place I need to be when it comes to my small group, I doubt I will be an effective leader.

Last night message on leadership totally has me inspired and renewed to get on the good foot and do what I have been commissioned to do. I bought John Maxwell's book Developing The Leader Within You months ago and its been collecting dust on my shelf until this morning. John Maxwell is dynamic in the area of leadership with Christian values. I happened to come across an audio book for one of his leadership books for $5 at Barnes and Nobles and have been immersed in his teaching all day. I always know its a God motivated thing when I feel that insatiable desire to do His will and with excellence and this was one of those days.

I have been called to lead and inspire. I have an indescribable desire to inspire women and help them find their identity and worth in Christ. For all the Princesses, abuse victims, the battered, the broken, the lost; how different would their life have been had there been that one person that told them they were worth something and meant it? I know I can't save the world but I have the authority to lead and inspire many.

"Do for one what you wish you could do for many." Andy Stanley

Get ready, get ready, get ready.

Diving In Head First

I just completed my first order of business as a small group apprentice. I sent out the Evite for the Super Bowl party on Sunday. For some reason, it took me like half an hour to do a simple Evite. Nerves, I guess. Don't want to mess it up since people tend to be pretty critical of even the smallest things. I take ministry work seriously and I think my desire for excellence in all things gets the best of me.

It still all seems a but surreal to me, leading a group. This is definitely gonna be all God because most days I wonder if I am even equipped to do this. Obviously God and the Nesbitts think I am or else I wouldn't be here. Sometimes we have to have the same faith in ourselves as others have in us. This is one of those times.

He's got me covered. He will lead the way.

On The Fast Track...

I finally answered the call to "step up and lead" by becoming a small group apprentice. I fought it for a while because I wasn't quite sure if it was what God was calling me to do or if it was just something I desired to do. So many people spoke such positive things into my life when the idea of leading our generation of young Jesus seekers came up. I think Avery Nesbitt kinda sealed the deal when he asked me to speak at the small group interest meeting at the main church, thinking all the while I was a small group leader. Needless to say, the Fusion coaches were on board with me stepping up. Nothing more heart warming than getting the vote of confidence from my ministry coaches who I really didn't even think paid that much attention to me.

Boy was I wrong.

Dede Nesbitt totally dropped the bomb me on Saturday at the small group apprentice training when she told me that I was on the fast track apprentice list. With Fusion small groups, apprentices are in their role for about 6 months before they are moved from an apprenticeship role to an actual small group leader role. Fast tracked apprentices move up to leaders in half that time. These are usually the people who the coaches believe will excel in their leadership role rather quickly and efficiently. Imagine my surprise when Dede told me I would be having my own group in just a few weeks. Megan Loving saw the surprised look on my face and reassured me that I could totally handle it. Again, more positive affirmation from someone I admire. She explained how she never even officially step into the apprentice role and kinda just fell into the leader role.

In all honestly, I am beyond excited and very humbled that God is totally moving thanks to my obedience. Not only did He believe that I could lead others but He has a plan for that to happen sooner than I expected. With obedience comes so many blessing and break throughs it's crazy. Yield to His command and watch Him do some amazing things!

Seasons Change

It's been over a week since I have posted and this past week has been non stop crazy. Been mapping out some ideas and suggestions for Fusion service teams as I transition from service teams to small group apprentice next year. That was totally God ordained and timely because the desire had been there and I was surprised that Avery, Taina, and Liz McVicker were all in agreement that it is time for me to step into that new role. I've also decided to step out on faith and take on this project of collecting donations for the women at Wellsprings Living. God put the idea on my heart earlier this year and it wasn't until seeing the Candy Shop documentary at the Fox that I decided to act on it. So far so good and luckily I am friends with enough small group leaders to help spread the word. Planning and organizing has been time consuming but so worth it if my vision comes to past. Thank you for community.

I realize I am transitioning into yet another season and the year is not over. God has me on this fast tracked agenda and I am not quite sure why. He has taught me valuable lessons in trusting Him, being bold for Him, dying to my prideful ways, knowing that even when I don't live up to His expectations, He still loves and delights in me. I have learned that my ways are not His ways and His ways reach far beyond my own comprehension. I have learned to separate my natural thinking from His supernatural actions. I have learned that prayer and faith can change lives and even in times of heartache and disappointment, He is still worthy to be praised. I have learned to lean on Him and only Him, that He will never forsake me, that He is always moving and always challenging me. I have learned that I need to be vulnerable and transparent with Him. He has been with me every minute of my existence so there isn't anything He doesn't know but He needed me to know that I can come to Him with the most intimate and fragile secrets, fears and desires.

There has been so much personal growth and spiritual growth in this past year that I often wonder "Why me? What did I do to deserve to be on such an incredible journey?" I usually get a "Why not you?" shortly thereafter. He is constantly reminding me that I am so worthy of all the desires of my heart because of my faithfulness to Him and my heart for others. Leash S. told me that God honors our pure hearts and faithfulness and I am seeing the fruits of my labor. Even when I don't even think I am worthy to call His name, He tells me that I am still His beloved, that my name is written in His hand and that He absolutely delights in me.

So as I have transitioned from learning to trust, to learning to be transparent, I feel like I am now learning how to get prepared. I'm not quite sure what I am getting prepared for, but that desire to get myself together is getting stronger and stronger. He is placing me with people that are outside of my normal circle and allowing them to speak into my life. He has placed me among Quiana and Dexter Culbreath who I am learning so much from. Our friendships sparked from me being obedient and blessing them with a small gift when Eden was born. Barely knew Quiana but felt this overwhelming need to get to know her and oddly enough she felt it too. God works like that. He places you where you need to be and with whom you need to be "for such a time as this." Waiting patiently for more revelations and confirmation but enjoying where I am.

He is good.

Fusion Is Back!!

Last night was AMAZING!!! I mean seriously. Last night was the relaunch of Fusion, the young adult ministry at my church that has literally become my family. Since coming to Fusion about a year ago, I have met some of the most amazing and inspiring sisters and brothers in Christ. God truly knew what He was doing when He pointed me in Fusion's direction. A building full of 300+ 20 something people who are seriously on fire for God, is something I had never seen before, but now, they are my family.

Coming back to Fusion after being on tour for six weeks was like coming home. I had already been stressed by the turn of events from the past weekend and other things but I was determined to enjoy my night. Met up with Carrie, Zoe and Sheka for our pre-Fusion dinner and I was immediately at peace about the stress and distractions in my life. God was already on the move before I had even gotten to church. I walked into the building pre-service and it was already full of energy, laughter, hugs, prayer circles, fellowship and fun. Some people had not seen each other in six weeks and spent that time catching up, while new comers came in droves. I was home, ready to encounter my Daddy!

Being that I was super excited, relaxed, and ready to handle my leadership duties, I didn't know that God was going to do some awesome moving on my behalf that night. While checking in the kids for Fusion Kidz, my fellow Fusionite, s2s alum and true brother in Christ, Nate stopped me at the table to share some amazing news. For the past few weeks, he had been keeping me up to speed with some ideas about doing Princess Night with s2s on a bigger scale. I'm all for helping in anyway to help rescue girls from sex slavery. He asked me to be apart of a planning committee that he is heading up with s2s and I couldn't be more thrilled. I love the vision and mission of s2s, already writing for their blog, so I am game for anything s2s! My night was looking brighter!

Worship was amazing. Service was a recap of some of the stories from Fusion on Tour and the various missions trips. I was so filled with the joy and praise for the work that Fusion did for the community that by the time we closed with the Fusion Band doing "Sing, Sing, Sing" I was jumping and shouting to the top of my lungs. God's power will do that to you. Service ended and we kicked off Fusion after Dark! More time for fellowship, grubbing with friends, prayer circles, watching Avatar, games, laughter, meeting new people, small group sign ups, Rock Paper Scissors contest, healings, everything. First time I got to enjoy Fusion After Dark because I live minutes from the church and didn't have to worry about driving 30 mins back to Cobb. I was loving it!

But, yet again, God decided to show His purpose for me yet again! Another fellow Fusionite and brother in Christ, Keith Hall stopped me at the small group sign up tables. He asked me about leadership and I reminded him that I was on the service team side. He gave me a look that I had seen many times before from various people. That "when are you getting a small group" look. He cast his vision about wanting to start a small group for single parents and my heart leap. For the longest, I have felt a tug to go into small group leadership but I never think I am prepared for it. So many people have asked why I'm not apprenticing a small group yet so its like they keep speaking that over me. Also, I had thoughts about a small group for single parents so they to can be more involved. Being a single mom myself, I know how it is to want to get involved in small group but have to worry about child care. It breaks my heart that we have so many parents that want to be involved but cant or just don't feel like they fit in. When Keith cast his vision, I knew God was putting His stamp on what had been in my heart anyway. Another AMAZING opportunity to serve Him with my whole life.

Yesterday started off with me being beyond stressed about finances, my future, work, home, you name it. But my Almighty Father has so many plans for me that I don't have time to be distracted with life. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." So many times we get so distracted with life's circumstances and stress, that we get distracted from our purpose. We are unable to see what God wants us to do. We get consumed with US, that we take our focus off of HIM. Such a scheme of the enemy. My Father wants to use me to change the world and to bring the Kingdom of Heaven to Earth. My eyes and ears are open. I am so excited about what He has in store and how my own life will be transformed by walking out my purpose.

Thank you Fusion for being filled with a generation of visionaries and laborers. Thank you Father for your grace and mercy to do Your will.