God has been absolutely blowing my mind lately. He has all but split open the sky to let me know that this desire I have for writing is of Him and not just something I like to do. He wants to use me to spread His message through books, blogs, whatever medium He sees fit in order to "set the captives free." I think the final bit of confirmation came from an email I got late Sunday night from a young lady that I have never met (Hi Nicole!) but who spoke the most encouraging and confirming words to me in an email. We follow the same blog and she found the link to this blog and the rest was all God.
God gave me this idea about what to write about on August 21. I wrote a few pages of notes and some random names to remember later. Ever since that day, I have had this overwhelming, absolutely consuming desire to focus on that idea to a point where it is hard to focus on anything else. I asked my lovely friend Amber to meet up so I can share with her all that God has been revealing to me. As I explained my desire to write, the prophesy spoken over me, the confirmations here and there and just the mind consuming feelings I have been having to write about this idea, I could see her eyes light up.
We were on the same page in so many ways. God was speaking the same message to us, placed the same desires on our heart, all to be carried out in different mediums.
As I was riding home, I was thinking about how huge this calling to write really is for me. I was in awe at the idea that He had been pursuing me since I was a kid through this love for writing.
But then God spoke. This path to writing didn't just get paved when I was a kid. It was paved with purpose and intent from the day I was born.
I was born in a car, told that story a million times and laughed at it a million and one times. But tonight, 30 years later, I realize I was born at the day, hour, exact minute and location I was supposed to thanks to God's timing. I was named after my godmother Frances because she delivered me in the back of the car. Had I been born at any other time, my name would have been Tamika. Why does this matter? I learned that my names means "free." God knew that my calling in life was to "set the captives free" through my desire to write so why not ensure that my name be called "free" so that I can walk in calling from birth?
His timing is so perfect it is mind blowing.
Showing posts with label purpose. Show all posts
Showing posts with label purpose. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
Princess, Purpose and Peru
Some how, God saw fit to give me a heart for people and a heart for the mission field. It's weird because I have never been on an international mission trip but just the mere idea of being used as a messenger to spread the gospel sends tingles up my spine. My first visit to Victory World Church showed me that underneath the surface, I was a missionary at heart. Hearing Pastor Dennis update the church on the wells that had been dug in Africa thanks to their faithful tithing and offerings melted my heart because I was in a church that understood God's heart for His people outside of our little comfy suburb.
Tonight we had a meeting with everyone that is going on the Peru missions trip in June. I was feeling a bit discouraged about Peru lately mainly because of the $1,700 price tag. With me trying to create a budget, pay off some debt and start saving, coming up with $1,700 started to seem like such a daunting task. Peru started to become less of a priority and my heart started to ache about it. I was feeling a bit bummed about going to the meeting tonight, knowing I hadn't even begun to write my support letter or even began to start raising money for the trip.
But something amazing and so timely happened today. A princess appeared. My princess appeared. Sabrina appeared. God totally rocked my world with that surprise! I had prayed for Sabrina for so many nights and in all honesty, I thought I would never hear from her again. Her life, her story, her rescue, her struggle, her return to a life of prostitution absolutely changed my life.
When I look back at last summer, God divinely orchestrated a series of events that changed my life and ignited my life's purpose. God had me at that Fusion service when the Sunday to Sunday in town mission trips for Summer 2010 were announced. Though I didn't have the money to pay the fee before all the spots filled up, God knew my desire and He already had granted me favor. It was His planning that had me and Heather engaged in a conversation about S2S, my inability to pay but desire to go, that had her tell me to contact Dede directly and explain my situation. Dede so graciously extended my time to pay until July even though the trip I would take would be in June. God favored me. It was His divine plan that because of the threat of rain we had Princess Night on Thursday instead of Friday. It was on that day, in the dark of the night, out the corner of my eye, I saw a girl in a dress and flip flops walking with her pimp, folding her hands over and over again because of nerves and fear. It was God's plan for my life to be forever changed in that one night.
I believe that God is at work yet again, divinely putting together a series of events so that I am apart of the Peru mission team. I believe His plan for me is to see how the commercial exploitation of children is so much bigger than what my natural mind can grasp. He wants me to have my heart broken for the street children of Peru and for the girls far younger than Sabrina that are forced to sell their bodies to survive. He wants me to see His bigger picture and to know that these are the people that need His love and that I am the messenger that needs to deliver the Good News. He needs me to have my life changed. He needs me to plant seeds of hope and faith into the children who may one day change their country for His good. He needs me to capture that passion that He has placed in my heart and use it to fuel my purpose. He needs me to see the problem first hand so that I can be apart of the solution. We can rescue every street kid and child prostitute from Atlanta to Peru but someone has to help rehabilitate them, counsel them and show them God's love in action. That seems to be God's plan for my future.
Sabrina, my Princess, has marked me forever. She has left her impression on me in a way that words cannot even begin to describe. Knowing that Sabrina is still alive and well reminded me that even though she is still in that life, those seeds of compassion and hope are still planted deeply in her spirit. God needed me to know that He hears my prayers for her. He also wants me to know that He works in the supernatural and that nothing is impossible when it is His will for my life. I am supposed to go to Peru and Sabrina is my reason why. I couldn't save her but there are so many more Sabrinas that need to be helped. This is my Gideon moment. Though I feel weak and ill equipped, God is preparing to do some amazing things with my life.
Tonight we had a meeting with everyone that is going on the Peru missions trip in June. I was feeling a bit discouraged about Peru lately mainly because of the $1,700 price tag. With me trying to create a budget, pay off some debt and start saving, coming up with $1,700 started to seem like such a daunting task. Peru started to become less of a priority and my heart started to ache about it. I was feeling a bit bummed about going to the meeting tonight, knowing I hadn't even begun to write my support letter or even began to start raising money for the trip.
But something amazing and so timely happened today. A princess appeared. My princess appeared. Sabrina appeared. God totally rocked my world with that surprise! I had prayed for Sabrina for so many nights and in all honesty, I thought I would never hear from her again. Her life, her story, her rescue, her struggle, her return to a life of prostitution absolutely changed my life.
When I look back at last summer, God divinely orchestrated a series of events that changed my life and ignited my life's purpose. God had me at that Fusion service when the Sunday to Sunday in town mission trips for Summer 2010 were announced. Though I didn't have the money to pay the fee before all the spots filled up, God knew my desire and He already had granted me favor. It was His planning that had me and Heather engaged in a conversation about S2S, my inability to pay but desire to go, that had her tell me to contact Dede directly and explain my situation. Dede so graciously extended my time to pay until July even though the trip I would take would be in June. God favored me. It was His divine plan that because of the threat of rain we had Princess Night on Thursday instead of Friday. It was on that day, in the dark of the night, out the corner of my eye, I saw a girl in a dress and flip flops walking with her pimp, folding her hands over and over again because of nerves and fear. It was God's plan for my life to be forever changed in that one night.
I believe that God is at work yet again, divinely putting together a series of events so that I am apart of the Peru mission team. I believe His plan for me is to see how the commercial exploitation of children is so much bigger than what my natural mind can grasp. He wants me to have my heart broken for the street children of Peru and for the girls far younger than Sabrina that are forced to sell their bodies to survive. He wants me to see His bigger picture and to know that these are the people that need His love and that I am the messenger that needs to deliver the Good News. He needs me to have my life changed. He needs me to plant seeds of hope and faith into the children who may one day change their country for His good. He needs me to capture that passion that He has placed in my heart and use it to fuel my purpose. He needs me to see the problem first hand so that I can be apart of the solution. We can rescue every street kid and child prostitute from Atlanta to Peru but someone has to help rehabilitate them, counsel them and show them God's love in action. That seems to be God's plan for my future.
Sabrina, my Princess, has marked me forever. She has left her impression on me in a way that words cannot even begin to describe. Knowing that Sabrina is still alive and well reminded me that even though she is still in that life, those seeds of compassion and hope are still planted deeply in her spirit. God needed me to know that He hears my prayers for her. He also wants me to know that He works in the supernatural and that nothing is impossible when it is His will for my life. I am supposed to go to Peru and Sabrina is my reason why. I couldn't save her but there are so many more Sabrinas that need to be helped. This is my Gideon moment. Though I feel weak and ill equipped, God is preparing to do some amazing things with my life.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Day 1: In Tune With God's Purpose
I have decided to embark on a 90 day mind, body, and spirit purity journey. Yesterday's small group meeting left me wanting to give thanks for God always been faithful and always keeping His covenant with me. I know there are areas of my life than need to be fine tuned, but I must first get into alignment with him. Matthew 5:8 says "Blessed are the pure at heart, for they will see God." If I want to truly connect with the Father, I need to make sure my mind, body, and spirit are pure. I bought this 90 day devotional about 7 months ago called Pure: A 90 day devotional for the Mind, the Body and the Spirit by Rebecca St. James. I figured that there is no better time to really start digging into this journey than with this process of transformation and renewal.
Day 1: In Tune with God's Purpose
"Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your justice like the great deep. O LORD, you preserve both man and beast." Psalm 36:5-6
Am I in tune with God's purpose for my life? Absolutely not. This is me being honest. As of today, I truly have no idea what God is calling me to do. I know what I kinda want to do with my life which is counseling, but I am not sure if that is what God has called me to do. I like writing, but is that what I am supposed to do? I used to think that God was leading me towards a life of working with and counseling women, sex abuse survivors. But, when I look back, I don't think God ever gave me that green light. Maybe it was more of a personal desire of mine to undertake. For the longest I have asked God to reveal His plan for me and I really think He has been kinda silent about it. Or maybe I was too busy and distracted to hear Him. Maybe I was more consumed with what I wanted to do and didn't adhere to what He wanted me to do. I don't know.
Jeremiah 29:11 says that God knows the plan that He has for me, so I kinda wish He would let me in on the secret. I am glad that this is the issue to ponder on the first day. Not knowing your purpose is like a boat floating in the sea with no direction in mind. I don't like not knowing but I really don't like not being sure of what my Father would have me to do. It's past time to really seek Him and have Him reveal to me what He has in store for me. I pray that no matter what path He puts me on, I have the good sense to be obedient and the courage to follow through. No one ever said this journey would be easy, but the reward in Heaven is worth the trial.
I am a work in progress.
Day 1: In Tune with God's Purpose
"Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your justice like the great deep. O LORD, you preserve both man and beast." Psalm 36:5-6
Am I in tune with God's purpose for my life? Absolutely not. This is me being honest. As of today, I truly have no idea what God is calling me to do. I know what I kinda want to do with my life which is counseling, but I am not sure if that is what God has called me to do. I like writing, but is that what I am supposed to do? I used to think that God was leading me towards a life of working with and counseling women, sex abuse survivors. But, when I look back, I don't think God ever gave me that green light. Maybe it was more of a personal desire of mine to undertake. For the longest I have asked God to reveal His plan for me and I really think He has been kinda silent about it. Or maybe I was too busy and distracted to hear Him. Maybe I was more consumed with what I wanted to do and didn't adhere to what He wanted me to do. I don't know.
Jeremiah 29:11 says that God knows the plan that He has for me, so I kinda wish He would let me in on the secret. I am glad that this is the issue to ponder on the first day. Not knowing your purpose is like a boat floating in the sea with no direction in mind. I don't like not knowing but I really don't like not being sure of what my Father would have me to do. It's past time to really seek Him and have Him reveal to me what He has in store for me. I pray that no matter what path He puts me on, I have the good sense to be obedient and the courage to follow through. No one ever said this journey would be easy, but the reward in Heaven is worth the trial.
I am a work in progress.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Such A Time As This
I can't remember the exact season that I was in, but at some point in my life, I lost my passion for writing. I could remember a time when books and writing were the absolute most exciting and positive thing in my life as a child. I had imaginary stories and characters that were my escape from my everyday routine. I loved it.
Then life happened. Puberty hit. Boys started to take notice of me. I started to take notice of them. Writing became less important. Only something I did for assignments. The passion was slowly fading away. Then high school hit, peer pressure, the need for acceptance, the need to feel loved, the need to feel anything. My passion for creative writing had died. Home life wasn't great, so I used my friends as an escape. When they didn't fill that void, I found my escape in the boys that told me I was pretty. I traded my passion and desire for writing, for just passion and desire. Bad choice.
Fast forward a decade and some change and about 100 million bad mistakes, and now I am on the other side of the fence. After 2 kids and years of searching for someone to fill that void, I found the light at the end of that dark and lonely tunnel. I found my Father...well more like I stopped running from Him and let Him catch me. We have a simple pact: Give Him all of my junk and He will love me like crazy. I don't have to go out of my way to please Him and He loves me past the hurt and dirt I brought with me.
My journey for righteousness started in July 2009 when God spoke to me for the very first time, in my drive way when I was straight raising hell with someone, but that's for another post. I came to Victory in mid August of 2009 and never left. I mean literally never left. I hit the ground running absorbing everything He had to offer as well as everything Victory had to offer. I was thirsty, anxious to change my life and change the world.
But He said "wait." Yeah, I didn't get that either. He wanted to teach me how to trust Him and allow Him to guide my steps. Not an easy feat for someone who is used to be in control. So I stepped back from the driver's side of my life, allowed God to work on mending my heart and I waited. Just wasn't sure what for.
Then it happened. God wanted me to write a letter to Aiden's dad. Took me 2 days to figure out what to say that didn't involve attitude. But by the time the pen hit the paper, I had written a 2 page letter with words that I swear to this day I didn't write. Kinda like the Holy Spirit took over and replace my anger with words of calm, focus, control and sincerity. I gave him the letter in obedience and never heard a word about it.
Then it happened again. God had me sharing scriptures on peace, faith, wisdom, His love,and forgiveness with Aiden's dad. I found articles and devotionals to send to him. It was working cause God was getting through to him.
Then it happened again! I prayed for boldness to spread God's love to people around me that needed it. God said "write letters." I wrote out 5 heartfelt letters of God's love and devotion to friends I knew needed that bit of encouragement. God said "now write one to Aiden's dad." I said no. God convicted my heart by showing me a vision of Aiden's dad crying in his car. My heart broke and after a week of stalling, I allowed the Holy Spirit to order my words to write the letter. I felt freedom when I delivered that letter though we never spoke about it.
Fast forward a couple of months to just 2 days ago and it finally hit me. God was preparing me for such a time as this. He ignited a spark in me to recognize my gift...writing. My Father said wait and trust Him and in my obedience, He promised to release blessings and great power to me. He wants me to touch hearts and change the world with words. He wants me to be bold and speak of His loves to those that need it and will receive it and to those that need it and won't receive it.
Such a time as this. Jake Hamilton's song The Anthem spoke to my heart during worship this afternoon. God prepared me to re-ignite that passion, my gift that had been there all along. He prepared me to be obedient and still speak of His love, His promise, His truth, His heartbreak, even for those that might not receive it. For such a time as this. People can turn a blind eye to what's going around them, but words tend to pierce hearts a bit better. You have to process words into sentences and paint that picture in your head. That's God planting a seed. God wants me to help plant seeds even if I never see the plants grow. And I'm alright with that because He still gets the praise and glory.
Then life happened. Puberty hit. Boys started to take notice of me. I started to take notice of them. Writing became less important. Only something I did for assignments. The passion was slowly fading away. Then high school hit, peer pressure, the need for acceptance, the need to feel loved, the need to feel anything. My passion for creative writing had died. Home life wasn't great, so I used my friends as an escape. When they didn't fill that void, I found my escape in the boys that told me I was pretty. I traded my passion and desire for writing, for just passion and desire. Bad choice.
Fast forward a decade and some change and about 100 million bad mistakes, and now I am on the other side of the fence. After 2 kids and years of searching for someone to fill that void, I found the light at the end of that dark and lonely tunnel. I found my Father...well more like I stopped running from Him and let Him catch me. We have a simple pact: Give Him all of my junk and He will love me like crazy. I don't have to go out of my way to please Him and He loves me past the hurt and dirt I brought with me.
My journey for righteousness started in July 2009 when God spoke to me for the very first time, in my drive way when I was straight raising hell with someone, but that's for another post. I came to Victory in mid August of 2009 and never left. I mean literally never left. I hit the ground running absorbing everything He had to offer as well as everything Victory had to offer. I was thirsty, anxious to change my life and change the world.
But He said "wait." Yeah, I didn't get that either. He wanted to teach me how to trust Him and allow Him to guide my steps. Not an easy feat for someone who is used to be in control. So I stepped back from the driver's side of my life, allowed God to work on mending my heart and I waited. Just wasn't sure what for.
Then it happened. God wanted me to write a letter to Aiden's dad. Took me 2 days to figure out what to say that didn't involve attitude. But by the time the pen hit the paper, I had written a 2 page letter with words that I swear to this day I didn't write. Kinda like the Holy Spirit took over and replace my anger with words of calm, focus, control and sincerity. I gave him the letter in obedience and never heard a word about it.
Then it happened again. God had me sharing scriptures on peace, faith, wisdom, His love,and forgiveness with Aiden's dad. I found articles and devotionals to send to him. It was working cause God was getting through to him.
Then it happened again! I prayed for boldness to spread God's love to people around me that needed it. God said "write letters." I wrote out 5 heartfelt letters of God's love and devotion to friends I knew needed that bit of encouragement. God said "now write one to Aiden's dad." I said no. God convicted my heart by showing me a vision of Aiden's dad crying in his car. My heart broke and after a week of stalling, I allowed the Holy Spirit to order my words to write the letter. I felt freedom when I delivered that letter though we never spoke about it.
Fast forward a couple of months to just 2 days ago and it finally hit me. God was preparing me for such a time as this. He ignited a spark in me to recognize my gift...writing. My Father said wait and trust Him and in my obedience, He promised to release blessings and great power to me. He wants me to touch hearts and change the world with words. He wants me to be bold and speak of His loves to those that need it and will receive it and to those that need it and won't receive it.
Such a time as this. Jake Hamilton's song The Anthem spoke to my heart during worship this afternoon. God prepared me to re-ignite that passion, my gift that had been there all along. He prepared me to be obedient and still speak of His love, His promise, His truth, His heartbreak, even for those that might not receive it. For such a time as this. People can turn a blind eye to what's going around them, but words tend to pierce hearts a bit better. You have to process words into sentences and paint that picture in your head. That's God planting a seed. God wants me to help plant seeds even if I never see the plants grow. And I'm alright with that because He still gets the praise and glory.
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