I'm still chugging along with the book The Christian Atheist by Craig Groeschel. I downloaded the ebook to my laptop and spent about an hour highlighting and making notes for myself because there is so much truth to the words in the book. If I had the actual hard copy, there would be an abundance of highlights, pen scribbles, dog eared pages, and Post It Notes.
I was reading through the section on knowing God but thinking that He is not fair when a light bulb came on. I know I have had plenty of episodes where I questioned God because I didn't think He was being fair in my life. Why do the people that don't believe in God or adhere to His commands seem to prosper more than those who follow Him whole-heartedly? Why was my prayer for a new job not answered? Why did I pray for a Ebony's new born baby only to have him die a few days later? In my mind, none of it makes sense.
In my reading, I unearthed Psalm 103:10-12 that says, " God does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us." God is not fair and that's actually a good thing. If He were a fair God, everyone on Earth should be wiped out. We are sinners by nature and we all know that the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23). Think about it.
Life often times will not be fair. That's just how it is. Yet, at the end of the day, we serve a God who is loving and just. He provided the ultimate sacrifice so that we can be redeemed and saved from our sins. He did the ultimate act of love by sending us Jesus, our Savior. No matter how many times we think He isn't fair because life doesn't always go the way we think it should, we need to always remembers that He loves us, He cares for us, He desire for us to live an abundant life, He yearns for us. He will always make things work together for the good of those that believe in Him. Hard times will happen and many we won't even begin to understand. Lean not into your own understanding and trust God. He is just because He forgives us, He is not fair because He loves us.
Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Saturday, March 5, 2011
In God We Trust...
Last night, I had one of those moments that required a little spiritual intervention. I went to the movies with my friend to see The Adjustment Bureau. It was a great movie with lots of spiritual undertone which I liked. It was also a love story which was cool too. Until the movie was over. Since my friend Diana and I went to the theater at Atlantic Station, I had every desire to have dinner at Strip because I wanted sushi. I knew Diana had to go babysit after the movie so I asked another friend if she could join me. She had baby duty but invited me over later. I figured if Diana and I weren't going to have dinner at Strip, I was gonna have Chinese take out with Quiana. I was kid free and really didn't want the evening to be wasted.
But God, in His marvelous design had other plans. Diana couldn't have dinner, Quiana was no longer available and I even called a plan C friend who also wasn't available. It was 10:00 PM and I was to about to head home alone, after watching Matt Damon and Emily Blunt defy the odds and walk off into the sun set. I hadn't felt that twinge of loneliness in quiet some time. Guess I have been too busy to notice. More like intentionally busy so I don't have to notice. Moment of transparency.
As I was riding home, I decided to have a honest heart to heart with God about the current condition of my heart. At some point in my rambling, I started to say "God I trust You to know what's best for me and to have a plan for me." I knew in my heart that if I said those words, they wouldn't be completely true. My beloved Beth Moore said in her Esther bible study that "we trust God as long as He is doing what we say." He was being a tad silent in the relationship department so He wasn't exactly doing what I said. So I wasn't really trust Him to deliver in His promise. As my tongue was working with my thoughts to say the partly untrue statement, all I could manage to get out was "God, I trust." Period. God, I trust. I must have said those 3 words 100 times, trying to finish my original, partly false statement. But, I couldn't. I mean I physically could not say anything but "God, I trust." And I felt okay. I felt like I needed to just trust. Trust with no conditions, no finite parameters, just trust Him with all my heart and know that He keeps His word.
He isn't concerned so much with my impatience but does hate when I feel lonely, cause He wants to be the one I turn to for comfort. He is jealous for me and desires to just have me trust that He alone is enough. And He is. Even when I don't want to, He's right there waiting, probably tapping His foot,
but waiting nonetheless for me to come to Him, tears and all, so He can fill the empty spaces I try to fill with people and activites. He knows me so well that He won't even let me utter a lie to Him. He just wants me to trust. Period.
Monday, August 23, 2010
He IS Faithful...
Last night was awesome. We had our regular Beauty For Ashes small group, but this meeting just did something to my heart. We met at the cross at Victory and spent some time in prayer and meditation as Angie called each one of us to the walking path. When she called my name, I really didn't know what to expect, but I knew this was going to be an evening of reflection and discovery. Angie explained that we have to learn to be faithful to God everyday because He is always faithful to us. As we walked, she quote the scripture Matthew 25:29-30: "For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him."
It's funny because I had read that very scripture the night before. I took that as confirmation that I need to be faithful to God in the little things that He gives me, so that I can live in abundance. Funny cause, that was the message Jeff Hidden gave this morning. Kingdom Thinking. I'm listening.
When I got to the end of the path, Nesha was waiting with an index card with the scripture Psalm 86:15: "But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness." Again, the message was faithfulness. She gave me a letter to read with instructions and also the letter that I wrote to Jesus 7 months ago at the start of our small group. As I read my letter, I was amazed at where was I was then and where I am now. I asked for healing for forgiveness for denying Him and doubting Him. I asked to encounter Him and to know His love for me. I asked Him to challenge me, to encourage me, to break me out of my shell, to give me boldness, baptism in the Holy Spirit. I asked Him to pour out His love and grace on my family and to strength the Godly relationships with the women He had placed in my life. When I tell you He was absolutely faithful in everything I desired, I was in awe. God did everything I asked of Him. He is faithful beyond understanding. He is in covenant with me and will give what my heart desires according to His will for me. He is faithful even when I am not.
In my letter, I promised to always have a burning passion for Him. To always be devoted to praising and worshiping Him. To continually die to myself and follow Him. I don't feel like I held up my end of the bargain. There are days when I am not sure He will come through for me. There are days when I pray and I can't hear Him, so I get discouraged and wonder if He cares. Sure I have my days, when I am just immersed in Him love and grace. Yet, there are days when I feel so disconnected from Him that I don't know how to fix it. I've felt that way lately. Very disconnected, faith kinda waning, fear and worry consuming me. But He was faithful to me, even when I was not to Him. That's how much He absolutely adores me. I am the daughter of a King and He treats me as such each and everyday. I just have to be faithful and return that same devotion.
I desire to be faithful and trusting in God in every area of my life. Every area. From finances, friendships, relationships, decisions, career, time. Every area. When I am faithful and good with the little things that God entrusts in me, He will pour out an abundance of blessing to me. I should be faithful because He is faithful. Now, I know I wont be perfect and there will be times of doubt and trouble. Yet, I have to always remember that my Father has proven to be a provider, a healer, a protector, a loving Father and many other things, so I know that I will always stand tall and stand in His victory.
I know that being faithful does not happen over night. I know this will be a process, a transformation. I know I need to renew my mind, body and spirit and become aligned with Him. Learn to trust Him and have dark areas of my heart revealed and fixed so that I can carry on. I bought a 90 day devotional back in late January, early February when I took the courtship class. I read it for a few days, and it was good, but I didn't stick with it. My letter that proved God is always faithful was written 7 months ago, around the time I purchased this book. Figured God had every intention of me getting that book, seriously. So, I have decided to embark on a 90 day assignment of purifying my mind, body and spirit. Each day, I will read my devotional and seriously think about what it is that is being revealed to me. My thoughts and revelations will be documented here so that I can go back and look at Day 1 three months from now and look at what God had done. I am excited and hopeful and ready for Him to reveal His purpose and love for me.
It's funny because I had read that very scripture the night before. I took that as confirmation that I need to be faithful to God in the little things that He gives me, so that I can live in abundance. Funny cause, that was the message Jeff Hidden gave this morning. Kingdom Thinking. I'm listening.
When I got to the end of the path, Nesha was waiting with an index card with the scripture Psalm 86:15: "But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness." Again, the message was faithfulness. She gave me a letter to read with instructions and also the letter that I wrote to Jesus 7 months ago at the start of our small group. As I read my letter, I was amazed at where was I was then and where I am now. I asked for healing for forgiveness for denying Him and doubting Him. I asked to encounter Him and to know His love for me. I asked Him to challenge me, to encourage me, to break me out of my shell, to give me boldness, baptism in the Holy Spirit. I asked Him to pour out His love and grace on my family and to strength the Godly relationships with the women He had placed in my life. When I tell you He was absolutely faithful in everything I desired, I was in awe. God did everything I asked of Him. He is faithful beyond understanding. He is in covenant with me and will give what my heart desires according to His will for me. He is faithful even when I am not.
In my letter, I promised to always have a burning passion for Him. To always be devoted to praising and worshiping Him. To continually die to myself and follow Him. I don't feel like I held up my end of the bargain. There are days when I am not sure He will come through for me. There are days when I pray and I can't hear Him, so I get discouraged and wonder if He cares. Sure I have my days, when I am just immersed in Him love and grace. Yet, there are days when I feel so disconnected from Him that I don't know how to fix it. I've felt that way lately. Very disconnected, faith kinda waning, fear and worry consuming me. But He was faithful to me, even when I was not to Him. That's how much He absolutely adores me. I am the daughter of a King and He treats me as such each and everyday. I just have to be faithful and return that same devotion.
I desire to be faithful and trusting in God in every area of my life. Every area. From finances, friendships, relationships, decisions, career, time. Every area. When I am faithful and good with the little things that God entrusts in me, He will pour out an abundance of blessing to me. I should be faithful because He is faithful. Now, I know I wont be perfect and there will be times of doubt and trouble. Yet, I have to always remember that my Father has proven to be a provider, a healer, a protector, a loving Father and many other things, so I know that I will always stand tall and stand in His victory.
I know that being faithful does not happen over night. I know this will be a process, a transformation. I know I need to renew my mind, body and spirit and become aligned with Him. Learn to trust Him and have dark areas of my heart revealed and fixed so that I can carry on. I bought a 90 day devotional back in late January, early February when I took the courtship class. I read it for a few days, and it was good, but I didn't stick with it. My letter that proved God is always faithful was written 7 months ago, around the time I purchased this book. Figured God had every intention of me getting that book, seriously. So, I have decided to embark on a 90 day assignment of purifying my mind, body and spirit. Each day, I will read my devotional and seriously think about what it is that is being revealed to me. My thoughts and revelations will be documented here so that I can go back and look at Day 1 three months from now and look at what God had done. I am excited and hopeful and ready for Him to reveal His purpose and love for me.
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